Life is always like this. I really and really want to give a choice to myself to run away from home. I want to give myself to have a better life. I really want to have a real smile, not something usually be faked and pretended. I know I cannot stand. I cannot stand for something. As this time, as this morning, as at 12:36am, as during that time I usually cannot sleep. I am usually awaked. A black shadow, a cruel sound usually appear to show its actions. I really want to give a choice to myself. To myself to sleep well as well as to keep myself from it. I want to have a normal life like other children. I want to have a life as human being. I know I cannot hide it. My neighbor know it and don’t know how to help. I don’t know too. I don’t know how to choose. I don’t know how to run. I don’t know how to release myself from that shadow. Sometimes I want to ask the world when it goes to the end. I am very tired. I don’t know I am living for what. I really don’t know I am living for what. How much can I stand forward?